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The Secret to a Firm Behind | by Bill Hartman
Let's face it, folks. We are all obsessed with women's behinds. Dare to question me? Okay, if were not then why are there multitudes of video tape exercise programs specifically geared toward helping women develop metallic glutes (get it?)? Go to your neighborhood Barnes and Noble and check out the exercise books and tell me how many books make reference to my favorite part of the female anatomy. How many stupid, cheap, ineffective machines are marketed on TV touting their fabulous butt toning qualities. The gals want a butt you can bounce a quarter off of and guys want to sit and stare at the perfect behind like it was a priceless work of art (which it is). Call me a male chauvinist if you want, but I'm right. I'm so right, I'll say it again. We are all obsessed with women's behinds. Thus the dilemma presents itself. If you can't get metallic glutei from a video tape and those stupid machines don't work, what is the answer? Well, a trip to the local health club should provide some insight.
Butt Class
I just love the cute little names they give those calisthenics classes which are supposed to give you the buns you've always wanted. "Guts and butts" (translation: abdominal exercise and exercises for your behind) classes are effective for those people who have never exercised before. Unfortunately, they're effective for only about a week if you really want to improve your behind. Why? A little thing called overload. The muscles you're training accommodate very quickly to the resistance which is usually your body weight (which you've been carrying around your whole life) or those silly rubber bands or baby weight dumbbells (a couple extra pound isn't overload).
Blasters, Burners and -Izers
If someone invents another stupid machine which has any nickname for the buttocks followed by the word "Blaster", "Burner", or "-Izer," I'm gonna puke! For those of you who don't understand what I'm talking about, these are the machines which health clubs use to sell women memberships which require you to assume a position much like a dog making a pit stop at the nearest fire hydrant.
I know those of you coming to the defense of these machines are saying, "But Bill, when I do the "Glute Basher" it really burns my behind!" Well, my response to that is that just because a muscle "burns" doesn't mean that it has sufficient overload to improve its appearance and muscularity.
Here's the problem with these machines-they don't consider two things. Most people lack hip extension flexibility and have weak lower abdominal muscles. When placed in the "dog at the fire hydrant" position pushing upward with one leg, you lumbar spine hyperextends resulting in repetitive joint compression which can eventually lead to injuries and arthritis.
The King of Butt Exercises
Let's cut to the chase, shall we. If you want a primo buttisimo (translation: great butt), you must learn to squat with a barbell. I can hear the collective groan now. "But Bill, squatting is one of those bodybuilding exercises that those big, sweaty guys do at the gym and make all those loud grunting noises-I can't do that. Besides I don't want to get big like that." Unless your really man in women's clothes or supplement your diet with dinosaur testosterone, there's very little chance that any woman could ever get as big as a man. So no excuses girls!
Now the proper way to perform the barbell squat is beyond the scope of this article, but I will personally guarantee to anyone that if you learn to perform a barbell squat correctly and consistently increase your strength in this lift, you will be amazed at the result. Squatting will help your create the superior posterior you've always wanted. If you don't feel safe or lack proper technique in the squat, I recommend you grab the nearest really good squatter (they're the one who put a whole bunch of big plates on the squat bar) and ask for assistance.
Better yet, I will make an offer that no one can refuse. Talk to your friends, neighbors and gym friends. If you can get 20 people together who would like to learn the proper, safe and effective squatting technique I speak of so highly, I will personally come to your health club, gym or dirty old basement and teach you for FREE. Call Better Bodies at 867-3388 and put in your request, I'll be happy to oblige.
Bill Hartman is a registered physical therapist in the state of Indiana and a certified strength and conditioning specialist through the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Bill has joined the staff of Better Bodies, Inc. which is staffed and advised by practicing health professionals specializing in personal fitness training, rehabilitation and sport-specific training. Call for an appointment at 317-867-3388. •
Bill Hartman is a registered physical therapist in the state of Indiana and a certified strength and conditioning specialist through the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Bill has joined the staff of Better Bodies, Inc. which is staffed and advised by practicing health professionals specializing in personal fitness training, rehabilitation, and sportspecific training. Call for an appointment at 317-867-3388.
Join the FREE Fitness Club Now for Weight loss, Strength and Fat Burning Workouts!
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Let's face it, folks. We are all obsessed with women's behinds. Dare to question me? Okay, if were not then why are there multitudes of video tape exercise programs specifically geared toward helping women develop metallic glutes (get it?)? Go to your neighborhood Barnes and Noble and check out the exercise books and tell me how many books make reference to my favorite part of the female anatomy. How many stupid, cheap, ineffective machines are marketed on TV touting their fabulous butt toning qualities. The gals want a butt you can bounce a quarter off of and guys want to sit and stare at the perfect behind like it was a priceless work of art (which it is). Call me a male chauvinist if you want, but I'm right. I'm so right, I'll say it again. We are all obsessed with women's behinds. Thus the dilemma presents itself. If you can't get metallic glutei from a video tape and those stupid machines don't work, what is the answer? Well, a trip to the local health club should provide some insight.
Butt Class
I just love the cute little names they give those calisthenics classes which are supposed to give you the buns you've always wanted. "Guts and butts" (translation: abdominal exercise and exercises for your behind) classes are effective for those people who have never exercised before. Unfortunately, they're effective for only about a week if you really want to improve your behind. Why? A little thing called overload. The muscles you're training accommodate very quickly to the resistance which is usually your body weight (which you've been carrying around your whole life) or those silly rubber bands or baby weight dumbbells (a couple extra pound isn't overload).
Blasters, Burners and -Izers
If someone invents another stupid machine which has any nickname for the buttocks followed by the word "Blaster", "Burner", or "-Izer," I'm gonna puke! For those of you who don't understand what I'm talking about, these are the machines which health clubs use to sell women memberships which require you to assume a position much like a dog making a pit stop at the nearest fire hydrant.
I know those of you coming to the defense of these machines are saying, "But Bill, when I do the "Glute Basher" it really burns my behind!" Well, my response to that is that just because a muscle "burns" doesn't mean that it has sufficient overload to improve its appearance and muscularity.
Here's the problem with these machines-they don't consider two things. Most people lack hip extension flexibility and have weak lower abdominal muscles. When placed in the "dog at the fire hydrant" position pushing upward with one leg, you lumbar spine hyperextends resulting in repetitive joint compression which can eventually lead to injuries and arthritis.
The King of Butt Exercises
Let's cut to the chase, shall we. If you want a primo buttisimo (translation: great butt), you must learn to squat with a barbell. I can hear the collective groan now. "But Bill, squatting is one of those bodybuilding exercises that those big, sweaty guys do at the gym and make all those loud grunting noises-I can't do that. Besides I don't want to get big like that." Unless your really man in women's clothes or supplement your diet with dinosaur testosterone, there's very little chance that any woman could ever get as big as a man. So no excuses girls!
Now the proper way to perform the barbell squat is beyond the scope of this article, but I will personally guarantee to anyone that if you learn to perform a barbell squat correctly and consistently increase your strength in this lift, you will be amazed at the result. Squatting will help your create the superior posterior you've always wanted. If you don't feel safe or lack proper technique in the squat, I recommend you grab the nearest really good squatter (they're the one who put a whole bunch of big plates on the squat bar) and ask for assistance.
Better yet, I will make an offer that no one can refuse. Talk to your friends, neighbors and gym friends. If you can get 20 people together who would like to learn the proper, safe and effective squatting technique I speak of so highly, I will personally come to your health club, gym or dirty old basement and teach you for FREE. Call Better Bodies at 867-3388 and put in your request, I'll be happy to oblige.
Bill Hartman is a registered physical therapist in the state of Indiana and a certified strength and conditioning specialist through the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Bill has joined the staff of Better Bodies, Inc. which is staffed and advised by practicing health professionals specializing in personal fitness training, rehabilitation and sport-specific training. Call for an appointment at 317-867-3388. •
Bill Hartman is a registered physical therapist in the state of Indiana and a certified strength and conditioning specialist through the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Bill has joined the staff of Better Bodies, Inc. which is staffed and advised by practicing health professionals specializing in personal fitness training, rehabilitation, and sportspecific training. Call for an appointment at 317-867-3388.
Join the FREE Fitness Club Now for Weight loss, Strength and Fat Burning Workouts!
BACK TO ARTICLES